the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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