did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
