My nipple is on Facebook.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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