My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
