i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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