lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
