What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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