During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
