I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
