singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
