For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
