..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
