Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize