Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize