What a fucking waste of an outfit
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just blew my weed a kiss
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
