There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
