We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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