He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
