I cockslap morals
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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