Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
