I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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