Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
