guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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