let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
