This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
