I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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