ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
