Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize