i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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