I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
