Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
