genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can I color on your dick again?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
