batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize