there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
