I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
