she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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