it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
