You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
