i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
