i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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