ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
