I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
