I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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