Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
