I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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