Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
