Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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