I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
