wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
