i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
