our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
