You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
