Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
