All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
