At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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