just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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