Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
