Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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