Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
