Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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