i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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