good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
