He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
