I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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