We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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