I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
