She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
