just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
