Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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