Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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